Landscapes of peril and moments of reflection

I have been insanely busy as of late, and find myself needing to just release all the tension. It's not quite time yet, but soon, I hope.
I have one more motorcycle class before I have my endorsement. I have to pass the test next Sunday, but things are going well, so I shouldn't have a problem. Last Sunday we rode for about 5 hours. It was so very tiring that I came home and promptly passed out for most of the night. Between working and class and animals, I have not had much time to reflect on what shape my life has been taking on. On the immediate horizon I see much more freedom once I can legally and more confidently traverse the city on my scooter, and that makes me happy.
I am also seriously considering taking time off from the coffee shop, or just quitting it altogether. This is one of my only points of procrastination, because part of me doesn't want to quit, but the balance is tipping towards being able to have more of a personal life.
I have a steady dj gig, and possibly another one in the works. This of all the things I've been doing was something I did not foresee or plan on. I seemed to fall into it, and it's also the source of the most satisfaction for me as far as "job" stuff goes. If I got paid for it, it'd be even cooler....
I am hoping to make a trip to Colorado soon, in the next few months, I think. I really want to be able to spend some time with my father and family and friends, and my father, did I say that?


These are all good things, and I am trying to focus on these hopes instead of the dirty house and lack of time and sicknesses and pain and worlds falling apart.
And that, has been my most signifigant accomplishment lately. The word for today is hope, glad I haven't lost it.

Oh, and my wisteria is blooming!
(This isn't a picture of mine)

strange behavior, such as blasphemous screaming, convulsive seizures, trance

This is the result of what happens when I google "my life".
(actually, it was something more like blaspheming in french or something.) Which is quite appropriate these days.

Six 2 Nine and unapologetic for shameless self-promotion

Kind of like 5 to 1, except we got the tunes, baby. I great friend of mine made this little flier for me.



It's not like most of the people that read this can come anyway, but you should if you can.

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.

The wrong person is persecuted, not that this is uncommon.
But, if you were to see this dog, would you find yourself thinking the criminal is the lady who helped, or the owners who did nothing - except create the situation and then neglect it?
This has made today a very strong "dislike humans and their bullshit bureaucracy" day.
I'm going to go throw up now.

little quotes

MOTTO
In the dark times
Will there also be singing?
Yes, there will be singing
About the dark times.
~Bertolt Brecht

Some people are raised on a hill, others in the valley. Most of us are brought up on the flat. I came at life at an angle, and that's how I've lived ever since. (J. Winterson)

Swimming houses, Dutch ingenuity and my very own clubhouse

No exactly Toad Hollow but still very cool


This could be a nice addition to my other future home. Now all I have to do is figure out how to get Dutch and Canadian citizenship and enough money to buy the houses and the land, that's not that hard, right?

Ach! I feel like such a bad partner

I missed my own Anniversary!
By a week!
Happy belated One Year, dear blog of mine.

The truth is what you believe

I've started so many posts this past week.
Some didn't really make it because they were not that interesting, and I lost interest before I finished them. Sometimes I really did have a good thing going, but blogger acted like a spoiled child who couldn't have it's way.
For instance, I saw this a few days ago:
Pup in a pouch

I tried to think of clever things to say, but really it all ran out the side of my head and I realized that it's boring to write about people who carry their little pseudo-dogs strapped to their hip-sacks.
It's not that my life is a boring place, I have so much to do everyday that I usually only spend time online when I'm needing a break from thinking about my life.
It could be due to the fact that I now have an espresso machine on my desk at work and am so wired that I don't surf the web as much because I'm actually working.
Also, I have found the news to be quite droll lately, and even what used to amuse me just leaves me tepid and brain-numb these days.
Perhaps it's that I'm getting older, more jaded and complacent with my station in life. My friend Steph would say it's my Saturn return.
Whatever it is, I think one thing is certain, I crave inspiration.
That and maybe a bunch of cocaine so that I'll be sure to be awake for the moment when it hits me.

Two Turn Tables, no microphone

Last night went really well, I think. I got over my jitters about an hour through my set and started to enjoy it. It gave me the desire to have my own equipment and to do something more creative than just popping cds in. If I did pursue this I would want to do some stuff with vinyl.
All in all it was fun. I don't know if I'll be asked back to this place, but I'll be talking to the owner soon.
I had many friends show up, some I didn't even invite personally! Thank you to everyone who came...

Proving that I'm not just a "Goth"

We sailed last night, for Singapore

They WERE all mad as hatters there....
I wasn't able to get any pictures of the show, they were total nazis about everything involving the concert. After the fiasco with the tickets, it was only a matter of what else could go wrong.
Which, once Darla got to Memphis, not much did. It was a really awesome trip.
The concert was one of the best I've been to.
And Cassie?
He made a joke about your last name, ask me about it sometime...
On Saturday we did the drive by tour of most of the attractions, mostly without stopping. Graceland, Stax Records, The Civil Rights Museum, Sun Studios. We didn't have time to actually stop and get out as we had serious drinking to do. As does just about everyone we saw in Memphis.
I ended up liking Memphis, in a way. It was not at all what I anticipated, and hell, they drink like fish, how could I not?
I'll end this overdue post with a few pictures since I have to put together my self-promotion post soon.

In lieu of the weekend tales of drinking and debauchery

"Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't
make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it
translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything
spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not
spiritual. You're just high."


*DISCLAIMER*
This reminded me of something Cassie WOULD SAY. Not something I would say to or about Cassie. All persons intended to be the receivers of this message are purely fictional, any and/or all similarities to real life characters are completely coincidental...

Caffeine & Fags hate TicketMiser*

No, I'm not talking about the cafe that flamboyant denizens frequent.
I'm refering to my date at the Orpheum on Friday night. Although Ticketmaster tried to thwart this, we were able to procure two more tickets in spite of them. We found out yesterday that what will now and forever more be referred to the corporate conglomerate - TicketMiser - cancelled one of our orders. We were only allowed to buy two tickets at a time. So we did it twice, we received two confirmations, and all was fine. But as the credit card statement pointed out; they had, with no notice to us, refunded one order. When we called them they said that in the fine print they reserve the right to cancel any order.
There are many suspicious things about what they told us, because on Ebay there were quite a few people that were able to purchase well over two tickets - more like 5 even - with no problem. I am not sure what TicketMiser is up to, but they are surely screwing people over by cancelling tickets and selling blocks of them to ticket brokers after the show sells out, at which point they make twice as much money.
I'm not sure if this is the case, but it's very fishy.
Never the less, we will be going to the show with our friends. So screw you TicketMiser, you monopolizing fiend.

*Please note that the title of this post is not aimed at CaffX, this is actually a reference to a great movie that Mr. Waits was in - "Coffee and Cigarettes"

Stella, my stella

Yesterday I purchased a blue Stella. I was completely unaware that they were discontinuing these scooters in the US. Apparently amidst all my online research I missed that part. So, I feel lucky I got one. The only two left at the Vespa shop were pink and blue. There was a used orange one, but I wanted a new one.
So, until I have picture of my own, here is a sample.
I have much learning to do.

Free if child locked inside

I just found out I can get financed for a scooter.
My first choice is the Stella, and then a Vespa. The Vespas cost more, but if I got the lowest one, I might be able to afford it.
Feast your eyes below, and let me know which you like.
I really like the red Stella, but I like the black too...

Red Stella


Black Stella





Green Stella





Black Vespa






Plum Vespa

Apollo has smiled upon us...

We have electricity again!

The irony being, today is beautiful out, in the 80s with little humidity. We are lucky, many people are still out.

This is turning into the blog of tragedies....

Last night a pretty bad storm came through the city of the Arch. Our neighborhood got hit pretty bad. We have one large Sycamore tree behind our house that has numerous large branches broken and dangling over what remains of the power lines. The transformer boxes began exploding first and then the wind knocked a very large branch down which took the power lines down in our alley. We have no power and the wires were sparking last night, trying to ignite the tree, luckily the rain that had lashed down subdued it somewhat. When I tried to call 911, it was busy the first ten times. When I finally got a hold of an operator, they said unless the tree was on fire at that moment they'd make their way to our place when they could..the only good thing about this is that I was actually at the store at the time the storm hit - otherwise our car would be part of the branch/wire sculpture in the back yard.
So we spent a steamy night in our house and today it's supposed to get to about 102 - with heat index(humidity) it's going to feel like 115. I'm considering evacuating the animals and humans from the house to an air-conditioned haven. It's supposed to storm more tonight, so maybe it'll cool off, then...
it's just waiting for electricity to come back, which at this point with over 500,000 people out, it'll probably be a few days.
oh so fun.
It looks like a tornado hit the street next to us. Very sad, all the trees are snapped and mangled and one of the charming old buildings on the corner lost part of its top.
If anyone is interested in what's being said you can google the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, or just the storm in St. Louis. or go here: We're not even in Kansas
signing out from my thankfully air-conditioned office.
b.p.

Addendum:
We will not be getting our electric back for at least five days, they say. We will be evacuating to more temperate climes at our friends, with the whole farm in tow.
They are saying the winds that whipped through last night were clocked at 92 mph. A veritable land-hurricane we had.

This is me, hyperventilating...

THE ONE AND ONLY TOM WAITS TO HIT THE ROAD!

THE ONE AND ONLY TOM WAITS TO HIT THE ROAD IN AN UNPRECEDENTED STRING OF DATES IN THE SOUTH AND MID-WEST THROUGH CITIES HE HASN’T PLAYED IN DECADES BEGINNING AUGUST 1 IN ATLANTA

Iconoclast and reclusive touring artist TOM WAITS is making an unprecedented move by taking his always unpredictably stunning live show on the road, mostly in cities (Atlanta, Memphis, Louisville, Nashville) where he hasn’t been seen on stage since the mid-to-late ‘70s. As for Asheville, NC, Tom has never played a gig; he hasn’t performed in Akron, OH or Detroit since the ‘80s. The most recent stop on this extraordinary tour is Chicago, where Waits played the Chicago Theater for three sold out nights on his "Mule Variations" tour in ‘99.

"We need to go to Tennessee to pick up some fireworks, and someone owes me money in Kentucky," says Waits about why he’s chosen this particular time and route to tour.

When this two-time Grammy-winner last performed live in 2004, tickets sold out in hours, if not minutes. His most recent live date in London sold out in 30 minutes, with over 150,000 ticket requests received within the first hour. Waits’ three previous North American concerts (two in Vancouver, Canada and one in Seattle) were also snapped up in record time.

"His concert was a nostalgic trip through freak shows, murder ballads, and ruminations on lost love," wrote Charles R. Cross in Rolling Stone after 2004 performance at Seattle’s Paramount Theater. "He didn’t so much sing these songs as he wheezed, whistled, and shouted them, shaking his fist like a craps player on a roll. Mining his recent Real Gone - Waits created a world of haunting characters adrift in a bygone age."

In other news, Paste magazine has just issued its collector’s edition citing the "100 Best Living Songwriters,"with Tom Waits and Kathleen Brennan (longtime co-writer, co-producer and wife) clocking in at #4. According to Paste, "In literature, only a handful of writers have pulled off the near impossible. In music, it happens on every Tom Waits recording."

Tour dates are as follows:
08/01
Atlanta GA Tabernacle
08/02
Asheville NC Thomas Wolfe Auditorium
08/04
Memphis TN Orpheum Theatre
08/05
Nashville TN Ryman Auditorium
08/07
Louisville KY Palace Theatre
08/09
Chicago IL Auditorium Theatre
08/11
Detroit MI Opera House
08/13
Akron OH Akron Civic

Look for local ads in the regional papers for on sale dates. The first show in Atlanta goes on sale July 8.

I had to move that picture further down, it was so absoludicrously ugly. So, here are some pretties:

Out of touch, and finally happy about it

In my daily browsing of the internet I finally came across a subject that I couldn't leave unposted on.
I'm not sure how or why I've never heard of this, but I'm a bit puzzled.

Grillz?
My first reaction is, a really big WTF?
My second reaction is, this is real?
Yes, people will pay hundreds of dollars to wear jewelry on their teeth.
I had to look it up since the state of Texas is talking about banning it, along with earlobe stretching, in their schools.
I thought, ok, anything they'll ban in Texas can't be that bad, right?


Chew on this, sucker

Oh, no, it's much worse than you or I thought. Didn't anybody tell these people what they look like? Could they not afford mirrors after spending all their money on their bling. And for that matter, I never really knew that the "bling" thing was specific to shiny objects, but this is probably one of the original references.

I remember when we used to want to pretend to wear retainers and bend paper clips to fit in our mouths, sometimes we would do it with rubber bands. Once you get poked in the gums a few times you realize that it's pretty stupid, and you quit doing it.

I'm at a loss, this discovery just erased about 3 years worth of brain cells and I feel that my typing skills may be damaged.

Portmanteau Present Day: THEY'VE BREACHED THE HULL!

In light of things that happened as mentioned in my last post I have been having a pretty shitty life the past week. I've been getting by though, and in spite of us ending up with -$$$ in our bank after the tests for Bosch, we made it through most of the week ok. I'm working a lot at the coffee shop to try to make some extra money and do not have a day off for almost three weeks.
I was beginning to feel the weight of everything dissipating from my shoulders, until last night.
I will preface what I'm about to relate by mentioning that 2 weeks ago our lawnmower and weed-wacker were stolen from our back yard. It was some kind of serial-landscaping-crime spree taking place in our alley, I found out. 4 of our neighbors also had yard related stuff stolen from them in the space of a few days. I was pretty disgusted, but still thought to myself: "it could be worse, they could be breaking into our house, or something".
Last night when we got home our back gate was W I D E open, I felt my stomach drop remembering that sight from when I came home to the missing lawnmower.
Initially everything looked them same, nothing missing in the yard. I checked the lower door going to the basement and it was open! It had been forced open. The deadbolt being ripped from the concrete wall and frame lying shredded on the floor. I still did not see anything really missing. I was completely freaked out at this point. We had the cops come, filed a report, they even sent a crime unit over to try for fingerprints, which they didn't get.
The first thing I worried about was the fact that we have a cat door on the door going down to the basement and I had to inventory the kitties, they were all there.
All in all, it looks as though the only damage was the door which we have barricaded by screwing 2x4s into the door until we can replace it.
Strangely they did not take anything from the basement, there was a lawnmower we borrowed from a neighbor, Phil's kid-Harley, a bike, tools, my ballet clothes, a fish tank, tons of stuff! not even touched! The most lucky thing is that we had a dead bolt on the door leading up to the main floor, AND that we have a big vicious sounding german shepherd that probably tried to bite the rat-bastards heads off.

When does the shitty-life-experiences marathon end? I need off this boat.

Portmanteau

Retrospective:

We had a really good time in KC with friends. There was something for everyone, drinks, hot tubs, spanking, music, bruschetta, underage lesbians, hulahooping, rain and strawberries. The only thing we didn’t get to do that I wanted to do was the Nelson-Atkins. That will have to be another trip in itself. On Sunday evening we had the pleasure of seeing the Legendary Pink Dots. All the Dots were great, but the venue sucked. At first sight, it seemed quite cool – the newly renovated Grand Emporium, which is one of the oldest bar/music venues in KC. It was quite different than the old dive – almost sterile really, but kind of sleek. Sadly once the music started so did the rattling of the ventilation system that they left exposed to look arty, or something. Through the whole concert unless you were within 15 feet of the stage, the rattling became an annoying distraction from their music. I am not at all impressed with the new Grand Emporium. If they are promoting themselves as a place to have shows they really need to work out the sound issues. Anyhow, the concert was awesome. Afterwards Niels Van Hoorn came out, as he usually does, and co-mingles with the audience. We talked to him until the bar kicked everyone out. My friend Stephanie told him to call us as they were coming through St. Louis the next night and would be staying there before going to Chicago (they weren’t playing in St. Louis). Niels said he would, but we just laughed it off as improbable.
We got back to St. Louis Monday afternoon pretty tired and were just relaxing at home, at which point I noticed our cat, Bosch, was looking a bit thin. Nothing too alarming but I decided to take him to the vet the next day for a check-up. Around 8 that night Stephanie called us to say that Niels had phoned and wanted to have dinner.
We ended up having dinner with Niels, Martin and their friend Guido who isn’t in the band but was touring with them. It was a really fun night, somewhat surreal; it felt like hanging out with friends, not strangers that we had recently met. We didn’t get home until three that morning.
The next day I took Bosch to the vet, as he was seeming weak and was starting to worry me. The vet informed me that Bosch was really sick and wanted to run test on his blood, do x-rays and keep him over night. I let him do the tests but took him home so I could take care of him. At this point he was getting weaker and really looking bad. I couldn’t understand how he could so suddenly seem so sick. The vet thought that he might have feline leukemia, regardless of the fact he had already been vaccinated for it. Unfortunately none of the test results would be back until the following afternoon. I tried feeding him and it did not seem to help. I waited about two hours after we got home and then decided to take him to the emergency pet hospital the vet told me about. Bosch at this point couldn’t really hold his head up on his own. He seemed to be breathing heavily and his eyes kept loosing focus. I was starting to panic inside. I don’t really want to go into the last few hours of that night, so I will end this by saying that we decided to let the doctor put Bosch to sleep. It was really awful, just writing this I feel like I might break again. He was the sweetest, softest kitty and it broke my heart to have to say goodbye so soon to him, and I can only hope that we did the best thing for him.
The outcome is that he did not have anything contagious and my other cats are in the clear, that was the only relief to come from the whole thing.

To Be Cont’d….

Proof of Origin

Women are from Zorkon 9

I love Mark Morford

A birds eye look at my life

This weekend I am going to Kansas City for a few things that I'm pretty excited about:

Art
and
Music
in addition I'll be able to hang out with some friends that I haven't seen for awhile and most likely drink, eat and be merry. I've been working on the yard and house and other stuff that this little mini-vacation will be a nice break.
I will try to post some pictures, for real this time, of the garden and the progress that we've made this past week. Finally have some herbs planted, including three kinds of basil. I will be able to go into the pesto business by the end of the summer if it all does well and doesn't get stolen by rat-bastard thieves.

Ugh

I am reminded of a movie that I watched years ago called "The Believers" with Martin Sheen. In this movie a woman wakes up with a huge pustule type thing on her cheek, she tries to squeeze it and these ants or spiders start coming out. I can't remember which. I was so creeped out by it that I'm not even going to look it up - I've had nightmares for years about that happening to me.
And now, I read this.
I started reading more about this virtually unknown/unexplainable disease - Morgellons Disease, they have a website for it.
I am so creeped out, the first time I read about this was a few weeks ago on Drudge Report where they were talking about a community in Texas where over 100 people have it.
What the hell is it? Why is it happening?
Oh, I know nightmares are going to ensue...

Black_petunia recommends tattoos for Loco

The noise of the moment scoffs at the music of the Eternal.

From Rabindranath Tagore:

The infant flower opens its bud and cries, "Dear World, please do not fade."

In my solitude of heart I feel the sigh of this widowed evening veiled with mist and rain.

In death the many becomes one; in life the one becomes many. Religion will be one when God is dead.

To be outspoken is easy when you do not wait to speak the complete truth.

I have dipped the vessel of my heart into this silent hour; it has filled with love.

The false can never grow into truth by growing in power.

More of his works


Although I have always been more drawn to Rumi
and Omar Khayyam today I found meaning in some of his words.

A little late

But still a commemorative is in order.
I found this really cool site:
Radiating Places - A Requiem of a Special Kind
I found the pictures hauntingly beautiful and sad, and well done.


Red indicates the extent of the radiation cloud on April 27, just after the accident in Chernobyl. Blue, indicates its almost worldwide distribution until the 6th of May.

The Bare Facts
Explosion, 26/04/1986, Chernobyl, USSR
Origin of accident - Explosion
Industry - General Chemicals Manufacture
Activity / unit - Process
Year - 1986
Date - 26/04/1986
Location - Chernobyl
Country - USSR
Products involved - Nuclear
Number of deaths - 31
Number of injuries - 299
Number of evacuated - 135,000

The Conclusion?
Read for yourself


How many people live near areas where this could happen?


This is by no means an anti-nuclear power post, but I do believe we can be more educated and learn from the past, to not forget. To forget something like this would be really, really stupid.

ha ha

This is from "Overheard in New York":

Street Preacher: Have you found Jesus?!
Guy #1: Why? Did you lose him?
Street Preacher: Have you found your Lord, our Savior, Jesus Christ?
Guy #2: Next time, try using better fucking nails!

Sixteen Men on a Dead Man's Chest

I am officially taking suggestions to rid my yard of vermin. For the past 3 days I have been afflicted with a flower picking type A vermin.


Day One:
All but two of my tulips disappeared.
The lilies are all gone.

Day Two:
The remaining tulips are stolen, in addition one of my daffodils that might have been a narcissus - I think, as well as some of the grape hyacinths and assorted annuals.

Day Three:
TBD



What can I do? I've considered the following - setting up an intricate web of invisible lasers that surround the flower beds, the kind you can only see if you blow powder into the air, in the dark- which immediately terminates any "visitors".
Posting signs that threaten bodily harm and law enforcement. Jolly Roger flags placed in prominent places around the yard. Voodoo spells to curse any violators. Habanero powder carefully placed on all stems and leaves. Security camera and sign that instructs them to smile while they're caught. Calling off work and lying in wait - preferably with a weapon or vicious dog.

In reality I need to put up that fence around the front we've been talking about.
How many more attacks can my garden take? I hope not many.
I hate thieves, especially underage ones since I can't prosecute them - although they ARE less likely to carry guns in this neighborhood.

I am open for suggestions at this point.

On that note I'll leave you with a link to one of the funniest posts I've run across this week.

crazy human

Dog or God? Evian or Naive?

Top ten signs you are a Fundamentalist Christian:

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."


3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Hooray for Cassie and Dilaram

Here's another list about jobs and stuff. Cassie, as you see, you're on there, but who is working the number one job?
Dilaram, my partner, boyfriend, fiancee and protagonist of my love life.

http://money.cnn.com/magazines/moneymag/bestjobs/top50/index.html

Stupid link isn't working right.
Sadly but not suprisingly my job isn't even on this list. I like how they tell you why they chose the jobs they did.

sometimes when you get the blues there's a reason

For lack of my own words:

"it only takes 6 or 8 inept political leaders
or 8 or 10 artsy-fartsy writers, composers and painters to
set the natural course of human progress
back
50 years
or more.
which may not seem like much to you
but it's over half your lifetime
during which time you're not going to be able to
hear, see, read or feel that
necessary gift of great art which
otherwise you could have experienced.
which may not seem tragic to you
but sometimes, perhaps, when you're not feeling so
good at
night or in the morning or at
noon,
maybe what you feel that's lacking is
what should be there for
you
but is not.
and I don't mean a blonde in
sheer pantyhose,
I'm talking about what gnaws at your guts
even when she's
there."

~C. Bukowski

Loose cannons, Life and Fatigue

Things have been quite busy in my life lately. I'm not sure if this second job thing is going to work out. This week I work 11 hour days everyday except Thursday, and then on Saturday too. It is seriously compromising the rest of my daily life such as walking the dog, cleaning the house, eating, sleeping, etc. etc. If I could find a way to not sleep I could probably do this with ease.

On top of the time restrictions that are pinching me lately I have had a few things that have occupied my head and heart: firstly is the possibility that Dilaram and I will have to move to Chicago. Just the consideration of this hurts my head; mostly because I don't know what we'd do with the house we just bought, the other stuff would be minor in comparison. We are both quite torn because we like our house, but we don't really care if we're in St. Louis that much. In fact the upside would be that we could get out of here. I really would prefer our escape to be pointed more in the direction of the West coast though.

The other thing, that is now thankfully behind me, but has loomed over me for the past week was the discovery of lumpy things that should not be in my chest area. I have had a few tests and it was found to be non-threatening and probably just cysts. Apparently this is not so uncommon, but until you know what is wrong it is a scary thing.

I will be posting pictures soon of the yard stuff we've been doing, especially for you Cassie, I'm feeling pretty happy with how it looks overall, but need help with the backyard -that is if we stay in this house:( .

Here is the newest feature of my blog: Link 'o the Day, enjoy

Big Jesus Trashcan


Addendum:
My doctor called me today and told me that I must quit ingesting caffeine - this translates to no coffee, tea, chocolate and anything-that-gets-me-through-the-day. I don't think this will happen. I'm not sure if she was just using language that she thought would appease me but she said that what I have is benign. lumpy but not abnormal I really don't like the use of the word "disease" that does NOT put me at ease, but it seems fairly harmless, so I'm going to put my lumpy self to bed and try not to dream of a life with out coffee and chocolate.

Give us a fag, will you?

At the risk of seeming like I'm turning this into a tobacco blog I wanted to say a few more things about the smoking bans that are spreading across the globe, not just our fair country. If you type in "smoking ban" in wikipedia it has a wealth of information on the subject.

A few things that I found interesting:
This article

(English: "Our Fuhrer Adolf Hitler drinks no alcohol and does not smoke.... His performance at work is incredible." (From Auf der Wacht 1937:18)
They were trying to create the Uberman based on HIM?!

I go back to my previous statement that if everyone is so fucking bothered by it, why don't they make it illegal, I mean, Prohibitionworked for alchohol, right? right?

There are many sides to every argument, I don't deny this or say that there are not valid points on each side. And someday, possibly even soon, I may be a non-smoker. This does not mean I want the government or other people who think they're first cousins to god telling me what to do with my body. If I want to put nicotine in or take babies out, this is my temple and I will decide who can worship here.

In other news, isn't this picture awesome? Someday I am going to see a total eclipse in person. This was taken in Russia around noon yesterday, most areas only saw the penumbra, which would be ok with me too.

Funny for a Monday

Two for one

Does anyone else find it ironic that California has some of the dirtiest air
and yet
it's practically illegal to smoke ANYWHERE in Cali?
(excerpt: prohibits smoking in all public places, indoor or outdoor, where anyone might be exposed to secondhand smoke, including outdoor cafes, bus stops, soccer fields, condominium pool decks, parks and sidewalks. Smoking in one's car is allowed, unless the windows are open and someone nearby might be affected.)

So, in summary,
It's ok to drive your 2 ton SUV 1/2 a block to buy baby food and soccer pads for the kiddies, but don't you fucking light up while doing it!

Take note Colorado readers:Elsewhere, the Colorado House gave final approval to a statewide smoking ban Friday and sent the bill to Gov. Bill Owens, who said he will sign it. Colorado would be the 13th state to enact such a ban.

Sushi-ya

This little clip was quite funny. vinegar feet?It reminded me of so many people, and their nasty habits of eating raw fish.

Actually I love sushi, but not with carcass. I even make it at home.
As I was looking for a few images it hit me at how obsessed people are with these little rolls. The possibilities are quite endless when it comes to how you can utilize them in everyday life.

Because the great Cassie has spoken....

I was told I should post this. I think Cassie is just too obsessed with this website. I'm pretty sure I saw Tom's middle daughter - who just turned 8 - on this website before. Anyhow, here it is.

I want one

This is a pretty cool concept. Although, if you're going to make the effort of walking around your house with a special tool to look at plants, you're probably assertive enough to water them regularly anyway.
Feed me, Seymour.
I suppose it would be more useful for farmers and things of that nature.

Something funny, Something stupid

I usually find bumpersticks somewhat annoying, being that people seem to express anything from their political views, to moral issues to personal philosophies-on their dirty bumper, peeling and fading into mixed messages.

But, I did see one yesterday that made me chuckle to myself:

Practice Safe Sex Just Say No to Sex with ProLifers

and driving to work this morning I was behind a beat-up old truck with plenty of "environmental" stickers about water quality and life quality and earth stuff AND his truck was spewing enough toxic fumes to pollute a small country for a week. I had to light another cigarette just to breath!

Au Lait?

I will be the first to admit that I have a caffeine addiction. I have been known to go to the coffee shop by my work twice in one day. Dilaram has wondered to himself how I could spend 17 dollars in one day at a coffee shop. I have no doubt that living in Portland only escalated this addiction; a place where there is almost a coffee shop on every block, and I don't mean Starbucks either.

So, since I started working at my current job two years ago I have become known at this little shop. It's actually not so little, it's in an old bank, they still have some of the old vaults which you can sit and sup in, it's cool. They also have a great selection of teas-all Republic of Teas, yum. The baristas there know my name and are already making my drink when I come in the door. It's nice, kind of like Cheers or something. They roast all their own coffee and they just started making their own pastries.
Why I am saying all of this? Because today I have an interview with the owner about working there. I'll probably just work on evenings and weekends. As a second job I hope to gain the following: experience that I can use when I open my own shop, free coffee(this is a very good reason), a little extra money. The money thing is not really that big of a motivator since I know I won't make much. But the number one reason? I'll be a cool barrista! yeah. I know silly, but I always like all the barrista girls there, and I just want to be that cool.

Bowing out

Dear Pentarchy,
Please accept this as my resignation. I am sure you will find a fast replacement that is better suited to your needs. What can I say, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
But not really, it wasn't really that dramatic or epic.
I will continue to post here as a solo agent.
Take care and have fun slinging mud.
I will leave you with the really nice link to an article that pretty much sums up everything that led up to my resignation.
37 million poor

By the balls, the frozen balls

Dilaram and I went out of town this weekend to say goodby to a good friend who is moving to Portland. When we got back yesterday afternoon it was frigid in the downstairs part of our house. I thought this was odd since the heat was actually on 65, much higher than the thermostat upstairs. I know heat rises so I just turned it up to 70 and commenced cleaning. Because I was moving around I didn't realize how chilly it truly was becoming with the sun setting until I went upstairs and it felt toasty. So I went in the basement to check on things and lo! the furnace that heats the first floor is not even on. I tried everything and it just won't turn on. It's cold and now all my plants are starting to look real unhappy. Of course this happens when it's below freezing weather, not last week when it was almost 70 for a few days.
When I called the gas company phone number that was on my furnace they informed me that they won't even come look at it until I pay the balance of my bill.
*Background Info* We received a gas bill for December for $550 dollars! A guy from the gas company came out on Jan 4th and read the meter which is inside.. So I called them back and asked that they come read it again. They realized they screwed up majorly at some point and our bill for January ended up being $94. How does that work, how do you go from 550 to 94. It's not like it's been really warm for the past few months. I think something is still wrong. ANYWAY, regardless, we haven't paid our whole balance and I know we need to get on budget billing. I'm just so irate at this point that if we didn't have a gas dryer and oven I would let them shut us down and buy some fucking space heaters.
The upside to the furnace not working? I guess my gas bill will go down...ha, it better.

You must watch

This is ingenious, well-done.
Thumbs up.
Brokback to the Future

The stuff of Dreams/Reflection

So, awhile back A-ron was talking about how he is a true believer. Perhaps this is a matter of semantics, but I think fundamentally it's similar. I can't say that I'm a true believer, but I am a dreamer. If you broke down everyone's inner hopes, we may all have similar dreams for the worlds that exist in our hearts. Our dreams may all coincide nicely. What I dream and imagine is probably not all that different in some sense from A-ron's, Locos or even (gasp) numerous villified political icons that we won't name.
I think some of the differences are noticed in the acting out of these dreams and hopes for the world. Much of my dream consists of stuff right out of"Imagine" by John Lennon . I really do want the world to be peaceful and for no one to suffer. A bit high on the improbabality scale? maybe. But that is my dream, and I do not really have a true belief in that happening. This dream has nothing to do with going around forcing my dream on others. It's hard for me to readily accept the possibilty that at the root of it all everyone may have similar dreams to mine, because I look at the world around me and it seems like a total paradox to the world in my heart and head.
But, some part of me has to be able to see the human side of what I could so easily term evil, or bad because I don't agree with it. And I know that because I am like this inside, because I strive for balance, understanding and acceptance that I am different from some people. The difference being that I do that at all. That I do not blindly see my way as right and any other way as wrong. This is not something that is easy or natural, but I make a conscious effort to try to do this. It creates many internal struggles,
But I am trying. And I hope that at least makes a difference.

Brilliant

And just when I thought my elders didn't have anything to teach me.
This article made me really happy, warm and fuzzy inside.



And I smile

I would like to have one of these

This would be really cool to be able to get away from rat races and cities. And having land in the forest like that would be nice too.
I wonder though, if this kind of thing will end up being like Xanadu?
I'm waiting until he makes the kind with bathrooms in them though.

Here's their website