Leave your religion at the door - quotes

Nine-year-old boy to friends: Don't be talking smack about Jesus. He was one of our greatest presidents!

Hip chick in black whose dog poops in street: No! No! Jesus fucking Christ! [Looks up and notices she's in front of large church.] Oops.

(My Favorite)
High school boy: He's like a fat homeless Jesus who stole a rich man's coat.

Soccer mom to another: You know, Friday nights are always a great time for Jesus.

Student on phone: All I have to say about being friends with Jesus is that unlimited fish sandwiches and wine doesn't sound like a bad deal.

Crazy guy: Praise Jesus! But stay outta my way -- I will stab you.

Girl to friend: I mean, come on -- who really cares about Jesus?


11AM How about a Compromise? One Could Be a Priest

Young wife sighing: All I pray for is a gay son.
Husband: All our sons will be straight.
Young wife: Just the youngest one can be gay. I need one gay son. You won't even notice.
Husband: No, it won't happen. Costa Ricans don't have gay sons. And I want my name passed on.
Young wife: I'll wait until you go to work, then put makeup and heels on him and let him be himself. I need someone to talk to when you are gone.

The end of something, blizzards and the wrongness of my memory

I was saddened to see that we lost Mr. Vonnegut yesterday. As much as I tell you this loss has affected me, I must not be that great of a fan because I got him mixed up in my head with Tom Robbins (shame) and was thinking of how much I loved his book, "Still Life with Woodpecker".
Only after thinking about the great Outlaw bits did I realize that it wasn't even his book! I'm ashamed to be mixing my authors like an amateur drinker mixing their liquors.
It adds up to many things being just a tad off today, beginning with me running around the neighborhood at 5:30 am searching for my escaped dog. I am supposed to leave for Colorado tomorrow morning, probably right around the time this possible blizzard is supposed to be at it's height. Damn, I'm torn if I should wait. I don't want to, dare I risk it?
I will leave you with this thought from Kurt, himself:

Hopefully my trip will be at the top of this chart, as much as I love Kafka, I don't want to be in a story with falling pianos and endless waits at gates that never open.