Loose cannons, Life and Fatigue

Things have been quite busy in my life lately. I'm not sure if this second job thing is going to work out. This week I work 11 hour days everyday except Thursday, and then on Saturday too. It is seriously compromising the rest of my daily life such as walking the dog, cleaning the house, eating, sleeping, etc. etc. If I could find a way to not sleep I could probably do this with ease.

On top of the time restrictions that are pinching me lately I have had a few things that have occupied my head and heart: firstly is the possibility that Dilaram and I will have to move to Chicago. Just the consideration of this hurts my head; mostly because I don't know what we'd do with the house we just bought, the other stuff would be minor in comparison. We are both quite torn because we like our house, but we don't really care if we're in St. Louis that much. In fact the upside would be that we could get out of here. I really would prefer our escape to be pointed more in the direction of the West coast though.

The other thing, that is now thankfully behind me, but has loomed over me for the past week was the discovery of lumpy things that should not be in my chest area. I have had a few tests and it was found to be non-threatening and probably just cysts. Apparently this is not so uncommon, but until you know what is wrong it is a scary thing.

I will be posting pictures soon of the yard stuff we've been doing, especially for you Cassie, I'm feeling pretty happy with how it looks overall, but need help with the backyard -that is if we stay in this house:( .

Here is the newest feature of my blog: Link 'o the Day, enjoy

Big Jesus Trashcan

My doctor called me today and told me that I must quit ingesting caffeine - this translates to no coffee, tea, chocolate and anything-that-gets-me-through-the-day. I don't think this will happen. I'm not sure if she was just using language that she thought would appease me but she said that what I have is benign. lumpy but not abnormal I really don't like the use of the word "disease" that does NOT put me at ease, but it seems fairly harmless, so I'm going to put my lumpy self to bed and try not to dream of a life with out coffee and chocolate.


cassie d said...

well thank gawd. i'm so glad it's benign!
so no more coffee or chocolate, eh? what a bunch of crap. sounds like your diet otherwise (from the link) is right on track - except for the fish part. But you can take supplements if you need to.
did your doctor give you any medicine? any advise? will the cysts slowly go away? are they painful? your link said they are just tender. is this true? how do you feel about the analysis (besides relieved it's not cancerous)?
wow. i think i'm freaking out.
okay. i'll shut it.

but that sucks about the chocolate. i bet you can't eat pickles anymore, either.
probably because they're just gross.

Amber said...

Ha, well, she didn't say anything about pickles. I am supposed to take 400mg of vitamin E, which ironically I have already been taking for the past few months, not 400mg but still I've been taking about 1 capsule a day. So, yes they still feel painful a little but I think it varies through out the month, you know? I guess some women have to have them removed if they hurt too much, but I think I'm good. One of the largest factors I've seen from looking around the internet is that family history plays a very large role in women who are at greater risk. Luckily I don't have this history.
I am not really even imagining a life without chocolate or coffee, I work at a coffee shop for the love of FSM! sheesh.

Anonymous said...

I'm really glad that you are ok, Amber. Scary. My grandma had this same thing for years before she got her cancer. I don't think they were related. I can ask her about it, if you want.

Chicago would put you only a few hours away from me! Yay!

I miss you,

Amber said...

I know! And there is much more to do in Chicago. I don't know what is going to happen with that, but we may try to keep the house even if we move. Rent it out to a bunch of commune-minded hippies. But, thank you. I'm hoping it never turns into anything else.

totalvo said...

I am glad you do not have cancer.. My grandfather is sick, possible throat cancer, it is a scary thing.. it made me give the ciggs up, even though i only smoke when i drink whiskey I was drinking alot more whiskey then i should have been which translated into MORE CIGS.. so now I am not smoking or drinking coffee, I drink tea, green tea or black tea but only one cup of black tea.. you will surprised how much better you will feel after you are sans-coffee. It seriously is a tougher addiction for me then the ciggs or the crack cocaine(joke).

Amber said...

I know, I haven't been able to give it up, but heck, when I give up caffeine and nicotine I'll be totally viceless and boring...

cassie d said...

you'll always have potatoes!

Plus you can get interested in a new vice that in the long run, costs as much as a cuppa joe from your fav shop everyday!

when i come to visit you in St. L - we need to get inked. Okay, okay. we'll let Tom come too. but he has to get his on his azz....

Amber said...

He's been wanting to get one for awhile, that says: "Amber's"
but I won't let him.

cassie d said...

on his azz?

i'd hate to think of any other place he'd want to get your name tattooed.....

Denny said...

thats spooky news amber but im glad things are ok. I havent had coffee for almost two years. it was hard but i feel so much better. i have stubmled onto a new suppliment that is packed with all sort of very digestible vitamins and minerals that give you much more than the rda and for once i can actually feel the differnce. its helpful as i cannot seem to eat right and some might possibly say that i drink to much. I concur cass, i have found tattoos to be nice way to relieve stress and bring a little extra well being.

S E E Quine said...

` I've been wondering what that website was called. Thanks for the inadvertent link!

S E E Quine said...

` Oh duh... sorry, I was just looking at it!
` I had a lump once... but it was only a bruise! Good luck with tattooing! Hope you don't ruin your skin!
` If I ever got a tattoo, I would probably get it on my scalp - that way you could only see it if I shaved my head!

This and That said...

Lessening caffeine will help with the lumps(unfortunately it is true)....but another thing that can help is taking Vit.E (400 iu's) a day. I know giving/taking advice over a blog isn't the best but that is what I recommend to my patients.I had a benign tumor in my breast removed back when I was 16 (many years ago)and even then my doc was praising Vit. E for fibrocystic breasts and lessening caffeine...I use to drink a ton of soda.
good luck.

Amber said...

strangely I was already taking vitamin E before this came up. Now I'm taking more. Thank you though, are you a doctor or nurse?