6.11.2008

Growing Directions not yet Defined

I have had many journeys, been uprooted, wandered aimlessly and not. Intentionally left everything behind only to find pieces packed away, and have forgotten things that I meant to carry with me. There have been meandering paths that lead to places I've never considered, let alone imagined, and there have also been loops that I've made over and over.
Days go by that I don't even think of the me that I was before I was this me, and times also that I feel that I am still very much the me I always am. Sometimes I get caught up in memories and relive days and moments and slivers of dreams.
I still know what I want and know that I am also only a fraction of the way to becoming who I've always imagined myself to be. And yet I am always just here.
There are gardens in my life, my meditation. I am full in my soul from the beauty that is so unpredictable in this world.
The more roots I am able to grow the more stable and satisfied I become.
The process of this used to scare me, made me feel bound to just one place, one decision, one future. I am beginning to understand that it doesn't have to be that way. I can let these pieces of my life thrive and live more fully in each moment through this realization.
It is good.