11.17.2005

And Now, For Something completely Different

I look at myself
or who I think I am
and I find a jigsaw puzzle, and none of the pieces are of the same picture.
I remember who I was as a child,
I can still feel the embarassment of adolescence.
Sometimes I still miss being a young adult.
But what am I now?
I
realize
that this sucks, but I'm trying to find my place again.
What is a 27 year old?
What does that mean, anyway?
When I try to measure that with accomplishments, it seems trite and doesn't really fit. That is what most people seem to believe. That when you reach stages, you should have certain things figured out and own things, and have kids, et al.
But that doesn't mean anything. Not to me.
I have to figure out what it means to me.
And until I do,
I am not quite sure who I am.
Maybe that is what a 27 year old is.







End of thought

back to the regularly scheduled sarcasm.
thank you

12 comments:

Aaron said...

Damn, Amber. Relax!

I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Elwess. You're free, white, and 18. It's a beautiful day, and we're all VERY lucky to be alive.

Be happy for what you have.

Amber said...

mmm, a possible ear infection and a dog who eats who own poop?

Aaron said...

Yes, be happy the infection is in your ear, and not in any other orifice. Also be happy that the dog eats his own poop, and not your poop.

:)

Aaron said...

When are you having your party? If it's the second weekend (9-11) in December I can't make it. If it's the third weekend (16-18) I'll be there.

cassie d said...

you're free, white, 18, and have an awesome best friend!

Who's next?

cassie d said...

but cereally -

i think that we are all reaching that age where we start to questions these things. Think about it. We've only got a short while till we turn 30 - and i'm sure everyone is trying to measure their lives SOMEHOW.

EVEN YOU, A-RON.

I seem to recall you having your own personal freak out last year when you and p-ko severed the knot.

I think when we were young we had preconcieved ideas of what we were going to be like when we were THE DREADED 30 (irty, irty, irty....).
Now we realize that there was no way to live up to that, nor would we want to.

I agree. I don't know how to measure ANYTHING in my life. Or if i even NEED to. I know i feel as lost as you do - but i think that's normal.
So maybe A-Ron is right. Don't worry about it. Just enjoy the time you have right now.

Actually, it feels good to realize that most of your friends feel the same way. At least i feel more at ease knowing that i'm not the ONLY person who feels that way....
Hopefully it gives you comfort as well.
If not -

I'm going to play Tom Petty into your subconscious without you realizing it.....
You'll wonder why you suddenly feel the need to play the guitar while riding on an escalator in the mall!!!
That'll give you something to think about!!!!

heh heh heh!!

jason said...

Screw you guys....I'm already 30. Life isn't like I imagined it to be in my youth. Luckily, even though things such as career/marriage/kids/etc haven't gone the way I wanted them to, I completely happy with who I am as a person. I think in the end that is all that matters. Know thyself and love thyself. On another note...in your 20's you worry about if you have achieved the things you set out to do in life. In your 30's you start to worry less about that and more about the fact that you are aging. That's the way I feel at least.

Amber said...

A-Ron, the third week would be awesome. I was starting to not have a party, but it sounds like my friend Katherine is going to come out too! So, let's part-e. Awesome. I'm glad I have a big house, I'm free, I'm white and almost 30.
A-ron, there is no way you are 23.

Aaron said...

Shut up Amber. You don't know how old I am.

As long as none of you can prove how old I am, I will continue to be 23.

S E E Quine said...

` And I will continue to be thwee and a half yeaws old!

Aaron said...

Congratulations Amb-o. Your blog counter has crashed through the 2,000 barrier. Cheers!

Sarah said...

Saturn returns... ask Chad on that one.