Leave your religion at the door - quotes

Nine-year-old boy to friends: Don't be talking smack about Jesus. He was one of our greatest presidents!

Hip chick in black whose dog poops in street: No! No! Jesus fucking Christ! [Looks up and notices she's in front of large church.] Oops.

(My Favorite)
High school boy: He's like a fat homeless Jesus who stole a rich man's coat.

Soccer mom to another: You know, Friday nights are always a great time for Jesus.

Student on phone: All I have to say about being friends with Jesus is that unlimited fish sandwiches and wine doesn't sound like a bad deal.

Crazy guy: Praise Jesus! But stay outta my way -- I will stab you.

Girl to friend: I mean, come on -- who really cares about Jesus?


S E E Quine said...

` 'Kay.... I like. BTW, as you may know, I am friends with Jesus. On commenting on how, when people pray to him and they don't seem to be answered, he says 'apparently I work in mysterious ways'.

` Also... I just think this is frickin' hilarious... this Jon Bon Beckford whateverthehell his name is. Beckjord... he's a nutcase or something. Well, I took some photos of my footprints and he's putting them on his website because he thinks they're bigfoot prints!

` Just gotta tell everyone! I'm keeping my mad sci post up-to-date about this new development.

nico said...

Overheard at a lecture by the Dalai Lama this week:
middle-aged woman 1: Have they picked the new one yet?
middle-aged woman 2: No, I don't think they do that 'til he dies.