12.21.2005

BAH XMESS, here's to blind consumerism of the masses




Ok,
So I've got to say it, I'm sick of all this Xmess crap. I am a scrooge, a grinch and really bored with all the hype. I know many companies make all their money for the rest of the year in a few weeks or months from all this. Whatever.
I don't have the tradition instilled in me to get all blubbery when I see stupid nativity scenes, I don't start saliviting when I hear sleigh bells and I think the best thing ever made about Xmess was the "Nightmare Before..."
I'm bothered by the guilt associated with buying gifts for people, even relatives that you don't even like that much; I guess it's quite a fitting behavior for good little Christians though.

I like winter, and I even like the idea that you should be kind and giving to your fellow man, but that should be all the time, not just once a year, on a fake birthdate of some over-publicized dude who may or may not have walked around in the fertile crescent many many years ago.

As for most of the traditions that are perpetuated during the holiday season, most of them are much older than this whole "Christmas" thing, and that whole conversation is so trite I'm not even going to go into it. But if you want to read more, go Yule up your butt

So enough with my rant, below are some activities, info and just stuff for people who may or may not share my sentiments


*Holly Jolly My Ass*

"Have a holly jolly Christmas" my ass. The best time of the year?

I don't don't know if I'll survive all of this bloody "cheer".

"Have a holly jolly Christmas" songs like this fill me with fear.

And if this season is the best it gets, just shoot me dead right here.

"Have a holly jolly Christmas"....what is it to have a "holly" something? It sounds rather queer.

"Have a holly jolly Christmas" I took out my Walmart gun, and drank another beer

"Have a holly jolly Christmas", I went across the street, and shot my neighbor's plastic raindeer.

"Have a holly jolly Christmas", plays as I sit here in my cell.

The guard tells me to can it as I hollar "Christmastime can go to hell"

if you want to read more anti-Xmess songs and find fun activities, go here

19 comments:

Aaron said...

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of the dear Savior’s birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary soul rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

Amber said...

ugh,
thanks, but if you believe in that crap, truly, you'd know that he wasn't even born in December.

jason said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Aaron said...

I don't even care about any of that amber. I'm not christian, but I am a true believer.

I get into the spirit of the season. I like christmas, not because of the commercialism, but because of the spirit and the positive attitudes.

Amber said...

ah, that's cool.
I just found an album that might help me get into the season, it's a old holiday tunes but rewritten about HP Lovecraft characters. It actually made me laugh and feel happy. Especially the "Do you Fear What I Fear?" and "It's beginning to look a lot like Fish-men"

S E E Quine said...

` EdgeWalker, Phil and I were laughing around the dinner table last night, making fun of real Christmas song lines, such as:

` Dickory Dock! Hang up your sock!

` So we started singing, Flippity flop! Fiddle-de-dee! Would anyone mangle-strangle me?
` Flip dip dee doo dah, jingly-pow! Could you, kind stranger, please shoot me now?

` I like the songs on the website, too! Hey, ever hear Weird Al's Twisted Christmas? I like the song where Santa kills everyone, and it's called:
` The night, Santa went crazy! (The night St. Nick went insane!)
` I actually have one Twisted Christmas song that sounds really cutesie, it goes:
` It's Christmas at Ground Zero! The button has been pressed! The radio just let us know that this is not a test!
` Everywhere the atom bombs are dropping! It's the end of all humanity! No more time for last minute shopping! It's time to face your final destiny!
` 'Cause it's Christmas at ground zero! There's panic in the crowd. We can dodge debris while we trim the tree underneath the mushroom cloud....
` I just love it!

` By the way, I just saw that four more people have commented while I was away taking a medical history survey on the phone before posting, so please regard this as the second comment.

cassie d said...

Weird Al!!! See Amber!!! i'm not the ONLY one who likes Weird Al!!!!

Amber said...

No, and all of you are INSANE, and probably smoke silly stuff.
And spell it "Pamtera"

S E E Quine said...

` Weird Al is not only kewl, he's huggable.

Aaron said...

It's all about the Pentiums, baby!

Amb-o, 'If I ever meet you, I'll ctrl-alt-delete you!'

Amber said...

whatever dude, your puny conservative arms wouldn't be able to reach the buttons that could shut me down.

bt said...

I must say, there is one type of xmas music that does not make me sick. Trans Siberian Orchestra. They fucking kick ass. They have a really good lighting and pyrotechnics production too. And even though it is Christian music they play, I can stomach them with ease. I highly recomend seeing them if you have a chance.

Amber said...

blah, one of my coworkers is going today, that just makes me think of the bay city rollers or something like that. I don't know that much, but the Cthulu music was good.

Aaron said...

I really like it when Bing Crosby sings 'White Christmas', when Mel Torme does 'Glow Worm', and when Elvis sings 'I'll be home for Christmas' and 'Blue Christmas'.

My favorite christmas song? That's a tie between Vince Vance and the Valiants 'All I want for Christmas is you', and Suzy Boggess' 'Two-step 'round the Christmas Tree'

bt said...

I suppose I will just take cassienator's lead and just give you an antixmas toot out my ass, amber. Now if I can only find a way to run it through an amp, do a lazer show and have much colored flames to give you the TSO experiance...

Amber said...

WTFE!, to both, no actually, to one and all!

Laura said...

C'mon Amber, you have to like something about X-Mas!!! You should try putting up a small tree with fun little decorations... maybe a skull missing half it's eye socket due to an acid accident or something. I think you would like it if you put up a tree or a stick on reindeer on your glass door or windows. I will let you come down here and put up my tree with me next year... we can make some of Heather's cookies!! yummm

S E E Quine said...

` I fuckin' hate $mas! But I still like to take advantage of the money I get....

Amber said...

I like giving gifts, actually. And truth be told Dilaram got me to go shopping last night and now I'm wrapping, so this is the only part I like about it, wrapping stuff. I like to make really cool packages, ones that are so cool, no one should open them. That's what I like.
I have had trees in the past by the way. The last one was about 1 1/2 ft tall and Jack Skelington was the star at the top.