The only Zulu warrior I'd go to a Luau for

Go Bjork your self

Leave your religion at the door - quotes

Nine-year-old boy to friends: Don't be talking smack about Jesus. He was one of our greatest presidents!


Hip chick in black whose dog poops in street: No! No! Jesus fucking Christ! [Looks up and notices she's in front of large church.] Oops.


(My Favorite)
High school boy: He's like a fat homeless Jesus who stole a rich man's coat.


Soccer mom to another: You know, Friday nights are always a great time for Jesus.


Student on phone: All I have to say about being friends with Jesus is that unlimited fish sandwiches and wine doesn't sound like a bad deal.


Crazy guy: Praise Jesus! But stay outta my way -- I will stab you.


Girl to friend: I mean, come on -- who really cares about Jesus?

11AM How about a Compromise? One Could Be a Priest

Young wife sighing: All I pray for is a gay son.
Husband: All our sons will be straight.
Young wife: Just the youngest one can be gay. I need one gay son. You won't even notice.
Husband: No, it won't happen. Costa Ricans don't have gay sons. And I want my name passed on.
Young wife: I'll wait until you go to work, then put makeup and heels on him and let him be himself. I need someone to talk to when you are gone.

The end of something, blizzards and the wrongness of my memory

I was saddened to see that we lost Mr. Vonnegut yesterday. As much as I tell you this loss has affected me, I must not be that great of a fan because I got him mixed up in my head with Tom Robbins (shame) and was thinking of how much I loved his book, "Still Life with Woodpecker".
Only after thinking about the great Outlaw bits did I realize that it wasn't even his book! I'm ashamed to be mixing my authors like an amateur drinker mixing their liquors.
It adds up to many things being just a tad off today, beginning with me running around the neighborhood at 5:30 am searching for my escaped dog. I am supposed to leave for Colorado tomorrow morning, probably right around the time this possible blizzard is supposed to be at it's height. Damn, I'm torn if I should wait. I don't want to, dare I risk it?
I will leave you with this thought from Kurt, himself:

Hopefully my trip will be at the top of this chart, as much as I love Kafka, I don't want to be in a story with falling pianos and endless waits at gates that never open.

Baku and You

I have details, if you're interested email me.

This is in Denver.

Rumination on being God

I had almost forgot for the most part a piece of my childhood. It wasn't really a huge, glaring light in my memories, but it left it's impression.
From the time I was born until I was around 8 or so, my parents were Jehovah Witnesses, actually my mom's whole family had been, all eight children and parents. Most of them dropped out over time, but I still had a few relatives that were lingering in the Kingdom Hall mentality.
The only impact this had on me is to be completely disassociated from traditions and holiday cheer. I still, to this day could care less about most holidays and don't get all the hype. However, I LOVE my birthday and still consider it the most important day of the year.
I was reminded today after reading this article how I did actually know some completely messed up people through that group of freaks. Not all of them were, my parents never forced it down our throats and we didn't get beat. But my cousin did, many times, and if we were over at her house, we got it too. That aunt didn't let us come over as we got older since we weren't in the "cult" anymore. I laugh now when I look back and remember that people used to call me "a Jehovah", and how they didn't realize they were calling me a god.
All in all, they are just about as creepy as the Mormons, and talk about judgemental!

Apparently there are a lot of other people out there that don't care for them, and most of these people have some kind of experience with them. I truly do regret not drinking the wine, if I'm not one of the 144,000, then who the fuck is, seriously?

Here are just a few instances of crazy stuff they do, or stuff crazy people say they do:
Steal your family
For the recovering Jehovah

The beginning of the End (or the end of the Beginning)

There are things that will end, that were fought for valiantly, honestly and with hope. As in every defeat there are things that are to be learned, and hopefully with the end of one thing, it will give rise to the birth of another.
The things I hope do not disappear completely:
Young people with vision and hope for a better future
Collaboration between people that want to see positive change
The possibility that a city so deeply entrenched in racial barriers from days past can overcome the divide and move forward
The things I realized yesterday were not pleasant, I am not sure that I want to pour all of my energy into an area that is so full of peoople intent on keeping the status quo which includes vacant, falling down buildings, drugs, crime, prostitution, poverty, trash, etc.
It's unfathomable to me that people can look at my neighborhood and think that it's doing well, and that current leadership has its residents best interests in mind. This being said, I'm not giving up the fight completely. I'm just going to focus on very specific problems and do what I can. What I know I will not do is invest my time or money into opening a business in this area. I own a home here and I will protect that interest, that is all.

In times of universal deceit, telling the truth will be a revolutionary act.

I shouldn't be surprised, or appalled or ever so disgusted; but I am. I've been quite drawn in by some of the political stuff going on in my little area of the world. I've been on a rollercoaster of disgust for humans in general, to hope for humans and the nice little things they can do, back to a strong desire to withdraw my membership to the species.
Yet, there are some very good things coming about very soon.
I will be in Colorado in April. I haven't got the invitation out to everyone (everyone that matters, that is), but there will be a Geisha party of sorts taking place. I will give more details soon.
In a week I should have more energy and time to update my thoughts more frequently.
Hopefully the return will bring more humor, Lord Shiva knows I need it.

I'm being punked

This is good, funny goodness.

Mr. Diety

Watch it.

The need to breed, and other sundry tales of self-deception

I was thinking of this title last night, while sitting at home. And then, I found the article that it was for today!

I can't believe that the Washington Defense of Marriage Alliance thinks that passing Initiative 957 is going to help people who are wanting to get married that aren't a "man and a woman" partnership. They are over the top and can only be viewed as nutcases, in my book.
If you're too lazy to click the link, the initiative states that a couple must be able to prove that they can procreate before they can get married and that if they don't pop a few progeny out within three years, their marriage will be annulled.

I understand that maybe, perhaps, they are trying to force this whole union for the sake of procreation as a bunk idea, but this just seems like a loose cannon sort of way to do it.

Reasons for absenteeism

It's not that I haven't been productive, actually I've got a lot done lately.
First order of business:
I got a new car. I've never had a new car, I've had "new" cars but this is a brand new car.


Uh, and I moved to San Francisco! Actually I've been putting off taking a picture of my own. Mine is exactly like this though, except the windows aren't tinted.
It has this cool part by the stereo that tells me hello (on the display everytime I turn the car on) and that red line does a flashy Knight Rider display. It makes me feel really welcome.



It also has really cool blue lighting mixed in with the red.


I'm thoroughly enjoying my new car and would recommmend the Mazda3 to anyone, especially if you like manual transmissions, as it has a lot of pick up. The automatic wasn't bad either.

It also has a place to plug my iPod right into the stereo without any need for special hook-ups.

Other things that have kept me away:
I've also been pretty involved in a local political campaign and that has taken other pieces of my time as well as energy.
I am also planning something that could be a huge change in my life, and I'm not going to say more until I know for sure, but it involves business plans and stuff like that...

All in all, I'd say this year is starting to get better, but I'm still not placing any bets.

hmmm

I know I should be finishing the finance report I'm working on, but I had to throw this out into cyberspace.

Do You Know How Goddamn Sexy I Think You Are When You Clean?
It does something special to me inside. Even The Cramps agree.
Now you know the secret way to my heart.

What a bunch of fucking humanimals

I will be the first to admit that I haven't always agreed with what I've seen PETA doing in the public eye. I still felt a soft spot for them because I believed their intentions were good, and their hearts in the right place.


I was wrong. It's sad that people who walk around all self-righteous about helping animals are actually disrespecting them just as much as a person who doesn't give a shit about animals.Peta is sick and they can suck my dick from now on.

New Year, New Post

Dear New Year,
I don't like to be the type to complain, but let me start out by saying you could have made a better first impression. I am very well aware that there are so many expectations from people all over the world, but really, I didn't bother you by making any predictions, any resolutions and hell, I didn't even bat an eye to the departure of last year.
This being said, I have high hopes that you can improve. Seriously? You can only get better from where you started out with me. Let's try to start fresh and make ammends and try to make this year even better than the previous few. I promise to take better care of myself and my loved ones, and I'll try to only use all of your time for good and prosperous activities. I'm not going to bribe you, I'm just saying that you could be a lot kinder in the days to come.
I don't mean this as a threat but if it doesn't seem to be improving soon I'm going to switch to the Chinese New Year and never look back.
Think about it.
Sincerely,
blackpetunia

29 Things

I'm almost a week into this new age of mine. I've been trying it on for size, seeing if it feels any different. Mostly, it doesn't. Here are some things that may or may not be related to aging another year, but that I've forced myself to notice.


1. I finally understand the phrase "Don't mix your alcohols".
2. I really don't get carded anymore, regardless of who I'm with.
3. I consider myself to be more serious about the activities I'm involved in and don't think about running away from the stress of responsibility.
4. I don't mind that I'm in the Midwest, for now.
5. My animals bring me endless amounts of joy, maybe not having children gives me more time for this.
6. I find it easier not to take things as personally and realize that other people have issues of their own that they battle with, it's not all just me.
7. Recognition for my hard work is nice, but not required.
8. I really miss having my family in my daily life.
9. I'm beginning to accept that some of my dreams are not feasible, and yet in some ways much more possible now that I don't have the hardcore attitude of being worthless if they don't happen.
10. Lists like this are harder because I want to be as honest with myself as possible.
11. My cynicism is aging like a fine wine.
12. I'm also more apt to know when it's not appropriate to share it with just anyone.
13. I'm really bored with just having a job, paying the bills should be secondary.
14. I am not going to quit my job just because I'm bored. I have a plan.
15. I'm still scared to take the risks necessary to make my plan reality.
16. I can actually come home and not feel like I need to clean, all night, every night.
17. Dilaram and I have been together 6 times as long as I've ever been with anyone, and it still feels like just the beginning.
18. I am looking forward to laughing with Cassie about all this when we're old.
19. Unlike Cassie, I'm not really feeling bad about getting older.
20. Twenty seems like more than just a decade ago.
21. Riding the bus isn't so bad, with and iPod.
22. This coming year I will master my scooter riding skills, and then no one will ever see me again, just me and the scooter, riding into the sunset.
23. I still want to elope to Iceland, someday.
24. I hope that someday isn't a decade away.
25. As much as I want to help make the world a better place, I don't like being involved in politics.
26. I think the most effective way to influence change is by planting gardens(for me) physically and metaphorically.
27. Focus, I need more of it.
28. I may never get to see an elephant or whale in the wild, and this makes me more and more sad.
29. I'm going to make the last year in my twenties count.

Now is the winter of our discontent.

Many people might misinterpret this phrase. It actually means: The time of unhappiness is past. It means that the things that have made us sad are sleeping in the cold ground.
Like Shakespeare, I may be misinterpreted, or even not understood. I like to think of myself as fairly straight forward, but that's all in my own head, anyway. The duality to this is that I secretly feel like I am a character in a foreign film, one in which most people do not know the language, and there is an incomprehensible plot. When the film ends, you are left wondering what just happened, and why, maybe you even find yourself feeling slightly existential in the sense that you just fell into a rabbit hole of nonsensical rhymes and non-meanings.
Maybe not.
Either way, I turned 29 at 7:47 this morning and I feel happy that I made it another year.

One Holiday, on the rocks, shaken

It's been awhile, and yet, I have no apologies or excuses. Instead I will attempt to fill the void that I am sure many people felt in my absence, with pictures.

We had a good, exhausting time in Colorado. I hate to even say this anymore: we never have enough time. It's always gut-wrenchingly hectic. The only good thing about the pace is it's a great excuse to drink more.

Here are a few images from Turkey day vacation:











We were really quite lucky with the timing of our trip since the day after we got back storms began to brew. On Thursday we had a pretty serious ice storm, which also had it's benefits:

Ode

A beautiful friend
Entered my life 15 years ago.
I somehow always knew that we'd be friends
now, even now
when she believes she is getting old.
I think we are still so young,
in many ways.
And have so many years yet to fill
with our friendship and our lives, well lived.

Love to you, my friend.

What are you doing on December 22nd?

Perhaps it's a bit early for you to answer that. No matter. This is something nearly everyone could spare five minutes to do, and they'll probably be doing it anyway. Literally. You can do it alone or with a partner, but please, don't do it with the family pets.

It won't hurt you, unless you want it to

AlphaBetaZeta

I'm playing around with this new layout. I like the new beta blogger features, and recommend it, but also warn potential users that you will spend most of your blogging time playing with it and never actually post anything. I'm breaking that cycle though. One thing that may or may not be helpful for those interested, the picture feature seems to be no better on the beta version.
Things have been going well enough in my corner. I am getting ready to come out to Colorado next week, and feel the usual mounting excitement that comes with that until I have to deal with trying to find time to see everyone. It will be good to see the mountains again, either way. And family and friends.

Tonight I brought home another German Shepherd named Zeta, for a trial period to see if she will fit into our family. A coworker propositioned me at the end of the day. She's a very beautiful dog. She makes Anya look like a little midget and not nearly as wolf like as I used to think.


There are things brewing in the near future that I'm not going to talk about just yet, but if they work out, there will be many changes ahead. Good ones. Changes That Do Not, I repeat, Do Not involve child bearing or anything of that nature.